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…since Asher Barkley came to live with me.  He’s grown into such a sweet guy.

SMILE

Asher, the magician.

Though 80-odd pounds later, he’s ever the puppy. AB insists he’s a lap dog and tries at any opportunity to sit on you.  His best friend happens to be a dachshund named Oscar Meyer. The odd couple indeed.  When I think of Ash, it will always be of his fun loving spirit, uncanny ability to pull a toy from thin air and his big smile.  Love my pony.

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Hi, I'm Asher Barkley.

Yes, I'm this cute!

So I’ve a new family member. He’s a two month old cute, cuddly, razor-sharp toothed rolly-polly black labrador mix.

I got him yesterday and named him: Asher Barkley. Barkley was my boyfriend’s contribution. I figure he’ll grow into having a double name and besides, I’ll need something formal to call out when he’s up to no good.

I’ll add a photo soon as I can’t get the phone app to upload it.

Today’s my first official day back at the office after handing in my notice. It’s quiet. Too quiet. It’s also raining out…

I decided to tell some of my students that I would be leaving. It’s harder then I thought – especially when they ask, “why?” and I just want to reply: it’s better for me.

Two have been gracious enough to congratulate me and wish me well. I’m impressed to note their maturity: they were (my) children just yesterday it seems. I’m hoping the rest of my goodbyes will go as well.

I’ve spent the rest of the morning filing and clearing out my desk. I left only the few things I thought to be useful for whomever takes my place. I know, how considerate…

My birthday (and last day at this job) is less then 2 weeks away! I can hardly believe it! *wiggles*

I guess it will take me a bit longer then I anticipated to get back into writing out my thoughts.  The last few months I’ve been so… quiet.

So time continues to roll on… Just over 3 years later I am finally ready say goodbye to my employer. I gave my two weeks notice in today; it was bitter sweet.

I’m excited with a hint of anxiousness. That’s normal though – a first time for everything (re: being normal).

That said, I read August is “Happiness Happens Month,” and I am certainly happy about the new prospects ahead. It’s also my birthday month, that alone equates to happiness in my books.

I’ve found an app for my phone to blog with, so perhaps I can make time for these random musings.

Til then… be well.

No, it’s not my time of the month – eww (did you have to go there?)!

However, I did have the most amazing dream last night.  I’m awake and totally all smiles. Gosh, I hope it comes true.  You know when you wake up and you’re like *wiggle, wiggle, wiggle* in your bed? I feel like a little kid.  Yeah, it was that good of a dream.

I’m going to hit rewind on my mental images to see if I can relish in this thought just a little bit longer… Catch you, later!

Today begins my 5 day detox… I didn’t eat enough today and I think I’m hungry.  Though, I’m not sure how since my stomach is filled with herbal pills and gallons of water. Mmm… swishtastic!

Nothing to report on the fake eHarmony project.  Is it three months yet? I told my mom I wanted my money back… she just sucked her teeth and gave me a look.

I’m going to go eat a nectarine and pretend it’s the ice cream that I’m really craving…xD

Yeah, hi… so my friend who knows me too well for his own good called out my bluff regarding my commitment to this e-project. It was all a ruse to get my over-loving mother off my back.  Secretly, I know you guys knew that too.  I’m a grown woman for crying out and of course I want my mother to be happy in knowing that I’m fine… that I’m happy, but not at the pain of having to really give these online folks a chance.  My heart is in good hands, at least I feel that it is.

As I said, some of the guys “read” like they could be good mates, but you know beyond that I’m not interested. At the end of the day there’s only one guy I have my heart set on.  He knows it and that’s all that matters.

My mom will just have to live and let things happen in their own time.  Sorry, mom.

That said, *he* and I had a really nice chat this evening.  I’m just all smiles and that’s all I’m saying.  Oh yeah… and I’m the one to watch out for!

Sunday was my birthday. It was brilliant. I’m blessed to have such great family and friends…

Before you bite my head off – I didn’t forget about this grr – project.  I just didn’t have a whole lot of time last week to experiment.  Anyway, catching you up… I now have two people who I’m in “open communication” with (one just scraped in tonight). Two lads are in stage 3 and one that’s in stage 1. It’s very much like those turn based games in that you respond and then wait until the other player takes their turn.  I currently have 74 closed “matches” (10 that the guy closed: 64 that I closed).  I have one “new match” that I received today.  He seems interesting or out of his mind; wants to circumnavigate the world on his boat! We shall see…

Today’s reading included an article on kissing.  According to said article, men kiss for sexual reasons and women kiss to gauge how the relationship is going (and also for pleasure)…. what? Men don’t know that everything is in a kiss? Kissing with the right person is just so… just so right. Souls embracing… hearts racing… Hmm… nice.

Anyway, so the guys that I’ve been exchanging bits of dialogue with don’t seem crazy, but maybe that’s their ruse. I’m still annoyed, but like I said one of them so far seems like he’d be cool to be friends with.  He’s a complete dork which fits in with my bunch of friends nicely. (=

On other more dreamy news… I had the most I-really-really-hope-it-comes-true dream about my fickle Romeo last night, cept he wasn’t fickle and it was completely perfect.  Lately, he and I have been in each other’s heads. By that I mean, he’s either told me something and I had been thinking similarly or I’ve told him something and he was like that’s so funny (because he was thinking it too). Recently, we shared a dream. Like he and I had the exact same dream on the same night… am I reading too much into things?

Come on, Romeo. You’re my popcorn at the circus moment (if you’ve seen Big Fish you totally know what I’m talking about here).  I don’t want to give up completely on all Hollywood has taught me – if a guy wants to make it happen… he will.  Right?

This week has been weird.  However, a little back stepping to bring you up-to-date is in order methinks. Ok, so I’ve been working on some life “perspectives” changes lately.  Though, now working on them doesn’t so much feel like work as just the thing to do, which is completely nice.  I’ve been told I look like I am in love, that I’m glowing – but mostly, I think it’s just that I’m happy.  I just smile when people say stuff like that to me.  (It’s good to keep them wondering.)  I don’t believe this happiness is a result of all my determined-to-smile-through-the-day or my kill ’em with kindness efforts.  It’s something deeper then that.  Gosh, maybe it’s joy rather then happiness.  Joy in knowing no matter what, it’s going to be ok.

[Confession: I’m interested in someone, but it’s complicated. I’m not entirely sure why it has to be, but then I tend to spend my over thinking hours on more highly imaginative (is that a word? Yes… I think it is) things.  He makes me smile and the world is that much brighter because of him. I’m smiling now just thinking about him and his mighty steed…]

OK, but before I get completely off-topic – the weirdness. We all know there’s different kinds of love: like the love you have for your parents, friends or your favourite pair of shoes, etc, etc. What happens when say, this kind of love gets tested? When all the years you’ve spent forging a friendship that has stood time and time again through everything that came it’s way until now… over two decades later. I feel this sadness niggling at me and yet, overall I’m ever happy.  It’s like this sadness is trying to take hold – only my spirit is free and my heart is beyond it.

This weirdness is not me. It’s some person who’s going through their own challenges; if feel sorry they’d rather go through them alone.  Though I can’t understand why they’d seem to want to hurt me in doing so.  Cold shoulders, text messages instead of calls, cancelled appointments… it’s weird.

Today the world mourns the loss of a great performer, Michael Jackson.  I grew up dancing and singing to MJs songs.  My mom used to tell me about how she ushered for one of his shows in Indiana and I remember asking why she never tried to get backstage to see the boy who would become the King of Pop.  Her answer was never terribly exciting… just that she saw him up close as a young guy was thrilling enough for me.

Today she repeated this story to me, but I didn’t ask why… I just felt sad, more then that – speechless. Whatever he was in life, who ever he was – I will always remember how his music moved me and the story of him as a young man always made my mom’s eyes sparkle just that little bit more.

Safe journey, Michael.  God bless your children… my deepest condolences to your family and friends.

(gee I wrote alot for being at a loss for words…)