This week has been weird.  However, a little back stepping to bring you up-to-date is in order methinks. Ok, so I’ve been working on some life “perspectives” changes lately.  Though, now working on them doesn’t so much feel like work as just the thing to do, which is completely nice.  I’ve been told I look like I am in love, that I’m glowing – but mostly, I think it’s just that I’m happy.  I just smile when people say stuff like that to me.  (It’s good to keep them wondering.)  I don’t believe this happiness is a result of all my determined-to-smile-through-the-day or my kill ’em with kindness efforts.  It’s something deeper then that.  Gosh, maybe it’s joy rather then happiness.  Joy in knowing no matter what, it’s going to be ok.

[Confession: I’m interested in someone, but it’s complicated. I’m not entirely sure why it has to be, but then I tend to spend my over thinking hours on more highly imaginative (is that a word? Yes… I think it is) things.  He makes me smile and the world is that much brighter because of him. I’m smiling now just thinking about him and his mighty steed…]

OK, but before I get completely off-topic – the weirdness. We all know there’s different kinds of love: like the love you have for your parents, friends or your favourite pair of shoes, etc, etc. What happens when say, this kind of love gets tested? When all the years you’ve spent forging a friendship that has stood time and time again through everything that came it’s way until now… over two decades later. I feel this sadness niggling at me and yet, overall I’m ever happy.  It’s like this sadness is trying to take hold – only my spirit is free and my heart is beyond it.

This weirdness is not me. It’s some person who’s going through their own challenges; if feel sorry they’d rather go through them alone.  Though I can’t understand why they’d seem to want to hurt me in doing so.  Cold shoulders, text messages instead of calls, cancelled appointments… it’s weird.