So I’m sitting in the living room with my mom and my sister walks in…

[Sister] Hey, your boobs look fake. 

[Me] Duh, that’s cause they are. You can tell? 

[Sister] No sh*t, when did you get them done? [Sis to mom] That’s why that little b*tch’s boobs always look so perky! 

At this point my mom, knowing I don’t have fake boobies jumps in on the fun:

[Mom to Sis] She got them done in Australia – didn’t you know?

[Sister] No! How much? Let me see the surgical scars…

[Me] 1000 a piece – they do them cheap over there.  Dirty knives or something… No way am I just gonna flip them out.  You gotta buy me dinner first!

[Sister] COME ON. Look me in the eye and tell me they’re implants.  I know you can’t lie like that.

My best acting ever, I smile and look her in the eye (I’m already smiling so she can’t use it against me!) 

[Me] Just cause they were cheap doesn’t mean they can’t be real looking too… I’d let you feel, but you’re not my type.

Here my sister drops it, but later must’ve still been thinking about it ’cause she said out of no where… “You can’t keep this lie up! You are too much of a health freak to do that!”

HAHAHAHA! I’m still laughing on the inside. It’s killing her… I’m such an awesome sister with fabulous perky boobs!

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